The Ultimate "Ocarina of Time" playthrough - Chapter 4

Ah. Solved it. Talk about simple, yet not obvious. Or was it obvious? I think I am finally getting to understand this game, with all it's intricate parts. But they do go on and on! Oh yes I suppose cheers are in order: Happy New Year! Read on for part 4.

"What kind of funny game has our Princess come up with now?!" - Stupid Guard blocking the path to Death Mountain

Oh wait, I NEVER ACTUALLY TALKED TO THE EFFING KING!! I even thought that he was talking about a King of this village, not of Castle Town. I didn't know there was only one King.

Honestly, the only thing I can say now is FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- you know the rest. I had to show the guard the letter Zelda gave me. Jesus Christ I couldn't pay attention to those cut scenes, they were so dull. How the hell was I to know to do that? Seriously! I actually had to "use" the letter on him! The last time I had to do something like that was Final Fantasy II. What you had was a list of keywords that you could talk to major NPC's about, but the whole system was really annoying. Every time you talked to another one you had to run through the whole list. Then you got new keywords, and had to repeat the process with any of those NPC's that you could remember. It was like slow torture. And it was never used in a Final Fantasy again. No suprise. So why did this game decide to carry on with this stupid system? Why didn't AAAAAAAA just show the guard the letter automatically?

Finally.

And thats not talking about the chickens in the town. I looked all over, and could only eventually find 6. I spent the good part of an hour looking around that village, looking for that blasted last one. I finally just went mad and went up Death Mountain to throw myself in the volcano.

However, the last two things happened in the opposite order. Bloody useless NPC's. So, then I finally get to up the Death Mountain trail. Just how far away is this volcano anyway? Nothing spectacular happened on the way up to talk about, except accidently jumping off the mountain several times due to the camera messing up, and getting hit by some rock dude trying to roll down the mountain. It also looks like I can't get up Death Mountain either because there are a few rocks in the way. I dunno, in real life, I would CLIMB THEM. Shame that rocks are used to stop progression in an area. Into the town... That the rock people live... The Gorons. Apparently they are in danger of extinction because they can't eat good rocks, or something strange like that.

It's simple. Eat any rocks. Stop being spoilt, and just eat the damn things. There are enough that are constantly in my path. AAAAAAAA also should have taken one of the Gorons as a pet too, especially if they can eat rocks.

Anyway, a relatively easy puzzle to talk to their leader, who tells me he's stressed. Oh great. From clues I got from everyone, I knew I had to go back to that bloody forest to talk to Saria. So I run there, and as I am doing the music puzzle in the forest, guess who show up.

Please leave me alone!

Thanks, now leave me alone forever. Why does everything in this game so far tell you how to do something after doing it several times? I know it's a music puzzle!!!

So, after some more, I eventually get to Saria, who teaches me Sarias Song.

I can't complain about that. The music in the game is obviously brilliant, thanks to the mastery of tunes from Koji Kondo. The area tunes and the short sweet parts from the ocarina are awesome, and I often find myself playing the tunes on the ocarina just to hear them again.

Why won't you just leave me alone? Or allow me to skip your dialogue?

A long uneventful journey later, with another annoying visit from that owl, and I'm playing that song to the leader of the Goron tribe. His dance scares me. Then I can pick up bomb flowers(???) and get into the Dodongo's Cavern.

Scary.

Scary.

I found this dungeon really annoying. It's not easy but it's only the second proper dungeon in the game. I seemed to have a lot of problems with the camera in this dungeon. This dungeon didn't really have anything that unique in it, and was just rather long and hard.

I shall use 'dis ting to kill youuuu!

So, then after a wierd cutscene where the boss of the tribe tries to kill you, and it all seems a bit like Benny Hill, you are told to climb Death Mountain with your new bomb bag. So I can finally climb the bloody thing. On the mountain though, despite no warning or obvious hints, the mountain is erupting. I can safely say I died here because I didn't know what was going on. That and AAAAAAAA seemed incapable of doging the falling rocks.

We're under attack! Man the trenches!

So on the second attempt of climbing the mountain, I managed to run fast enough that I only lost a lot of health, instead of it all. Then I climb the wall, and guess who I see at the top. Again.

...Sigh...

Perhaps I'm wrong, and it's AAAAAAAA that was taking the drugs the whole time. Would make sense. Anyway, so it says something, I really don't care. Then I go to the most obvious path, and get a timer of around 6 seconds to survive in the crater. After this torture, I then decide that it is not the correct path. I then find the fairy queen thing (Now that is scary, both in looks and the shrieking laugh it has), leave, and take the lift with the owl back down the mountain. Now if only it could have done that for me before...

Oops, wrong turn!

Ah hah! Finally, a use for you! Erm, fly me down the mountain what what. Spiffing job and all that.

Then I'm told to go up the Zora's river. So I do. Nothing exciting, apart from a few enemies, and some wierd frogs. And a random magical bean salesman.

Magic beans? Eh? Oh look a bottle... I'll explain that later.

Then, just because it hadn't been on screen for 5 minutes, the owl shows up and once again I try and ignore it. Once again it gives me an explanation of something I already know, and then it leaves. Into the Zora's cave for me then!

Ah, there you are! Now, who are you?

Embarassingly, I thought that the Zora fish king was in fact Jabu-Jabu. So as you can imagine, offering it fish did very little. So once again, I was lost. There is always something that just stops me at some part, being at a complete loss what to do. But, in all fairness, it wasn't obvious what to do there. I tried talking to everyone, did that waterfall game thing to collect the rupees as well. Little did I know, that is what I was meant to do. Then with my new superpowers, I went through the cave at the bottom. And I wound up in the Hyrule Lake?!?

Yeah. Then I collect the letter, of course, and read it back in the Zoras place. And what does it say??? "...Don't tell the King where I am!.." or something like that. Now, when the game gives a direct instruction like this, I tend to follow it. So once again after a large amount of time wasted, I show the king the letter, then I am allowed past. About time too, I have really lost my patience with all this confusing crap.

Thats enough for one journey, methinks. Next, I expect another dungeon or something like that. Oh boy, I can't wait.