"In order to come back here again, play the Minuet of Forest." - Stupid Shiek
Why are the game designers tortureing me by trapping me in this godforsaken village trapped with no clue what to do again? Every single villager in this town is just as useless as they were last time I got trapped here. I get some wierd egg again, learn a song of storms, win a new quiver for my arrows... But Navi and the map still tell me that there is an objective here. I used to just hate the guard at the Death Mountain exit (he's not here this time) but now I actually completely hate the town. Every single NPC in this town only exists to make the game more torture for me. However, one mentioned going to the graveyard, so there I shall go.
So, I fight some ghosts, and find a hidden passage. Inside, I find some zombies. Now, I am not a good player of horror games. And I actually once again have to say that the screams that these things throw at you are pretty scary, but then they try and... hump your back? I mean they are not eating you, but whatever. Anyway another puzzle and I find the Sun's Song. Still don't know what to do.
So... What to do, what to do. I am still being told to go to this village, but the more I think about it they never actually at any point actually said what to do.
Exploring the graveyard... I eventually found out that you could move those gravestones. It was while I was fighting the ghosts hanging around I suppose. So, I moved one, and gosh shock and luck that was the actual one that I had to move! I said fighting the ghosts, I really meant running away from them with low health. So into this hole in the ground!
Erm, horray? Is this important?
Simple from here. Race the ghost. Pretty easy, except for that last part in the race, across the big hole. I didn't see it the first time (thanks, camera) but it was easy enough. Then I got rewarded with the Hookshot! Not too sure what use it is, but then I try and leave. Now I was lazy enough here and didn't explore, but to leave I just ran into the first door in my way. There could have been another exit, but I'm can't remember. And whats this now? After all the crap I have been through... It's a block. A giant block. Right in my way.
I can't leave through the door behind me, and I can't move the block. Hmm... Kinda stuck again. Now, I assumed at the time that the hookshot was just another small item that would just make the quest easier, like a bottle, so I thought the game had glitched, making me stuck in the room. But I didn't want to quit, so I just TRIED EVERYTHING to leave that room. Bombs, sword, trying to grab it, trying to climb them, some flash nuts or something (not to be confused with flashed nuts)... Then the ocarina saved me. Well the song of time did. I first thought that the song of time was just to open the temple of time. Oh no. It has many uses, like... making blocks dissappear. Okay...
Then I was out of The Room. Back to the windmill, with that awesome "Song of Storms" playing, and I can get that piece of heart hiding up at the top, which annoyed me the first time I arrived here. So in total that's... one piece of heart. One. Only one. Out of 4. I am getting many game over's at this point, but even despite that I really can't be bothered looking for pieces of heart. I mean through the main quest line, surely you should get enough health just playing through the game normally, just like what I am doing?
Just at this point, I think I need to take a pause. Am I playing the game wrong? Every discovery that I am making in the game is always significantly after my willing threshold. Every time I find the new piece of the puzzle, like the hookshot, it is always a long time after there was a point where I would have felt some satisfaction in finding it. There is no side stepping the point. This is a very hard game. And one that I don't feel is giving me much enjoyment. It's like playing Metal Gear Online. You think you are getting the hand of it, then you level up. I suppose in this game that would be the puzzles get harder. But in MGO you finally have the leet skills to take out a sniper and then stealing his position. Then you get the level up, and everything gets too hard again. The new things you have to quickly learn come too fast and too often.
And I really don't find that fun.
Anyway... MGO rant over. I hate that game at the moment... This one too.
Oh yeah. So navi says jump, and I have to guess how high and which general direction.
So it's not just me who hates Navi.
Ah about time, I know who Saria is. And where the forest is. I am just so happy right now! It's falling into place. I have to go to the first dungeon, I just know it! Yes!!!
Yeah. Lowest form of wit. I know.
So through the town, which has been invaded by monsters, up into... Kokiri Forest. Always retracing back to places I really hate. Anyway... After guessing the path that I had to take the first time, because typically the music isn't lowering at the correct exits this time, I run into a very old
So without much thinking, I take out my ocarina and play the song. But this confuses me. While being young AAAAAAAA, running through the forest and trying to take the correct path, it increased the music where the path was relevant. So was that just metagaming, or did my character actually hear the music? And if so, why does that stupid elf (not AAAAAAAA) say that Saria only teaches that song to her friends? It's playing in the goddam forest! And not only that, but you have definetely shown that he shoudn't have any friends in this stupid forest! How the hell would he know the song? I haven't even seen him ever interact with Saria!
Uhh... Yeah. Then into the... Well, I don't know what to call it. Second part of the maze? So these giant pig things push me into walls and the water a lot, because the camera sucks. Big time. Especially when they say you need to use it more. It just decides to go completely wierd and not allow me to see basically anything.
So, after that bullshit, THEN THERE'S A GIANT ONE! However, at least if I dodge it's attacks, I can get up to it. And then I ran past it instead. Okay, whatever.
Then a soppy part with Saria missing and... Shelke? Nope, name has just left me. Oh well, not important. Anyway he gives me a song, then just kinda... leaves. Again. Could have used the help in the dungeon, but of course, that would make it too easy. Hmm... That guy surely doesn't look much like a guy.
Then I hookshot onto a branch. So it actually does have a use.
Finally, at the first dungeon. Not too bad. It was rather hard though. When you play the game you get used to the difficulty of a dungeon. But this dungeon just went too far. It was excessively difficult. Giant broken piranha plants this time, along with those fuckin' spiders again. So to add a new point to these dungeons, you now have to collect keys to open new parts of the dungeon. Which would have been okay, if they were not hidden in the most obsolete of places. Not all are, but usually to get through the dungeon I had to collect all the keys. Now, finding the first few was okay, but then, suprise, I was stuck.
After a fustrating few times running around the dungeon I couldn't find any new hidden spots, or anything. I mean I believe I checked everywhere I could.
Long story short the key was hidden out in the front. Now, this part of the dungeon, I actually wouldn't count as part of the dungeon. More like just the enterance room. And to make it just even more vague they hid the key up on top of a very large branch. Wouldn't killing the werewolves at the very least have been enough to get the key? Rather than completely guessing that the key was in a room that I wouldn't count as actually part of a dungeon, up vines that I thought were just decoration, like in other places in the dungeon, and across some very precarious jumping across branches? No. I don't think this was a good point for me in this dungeon.
Fuck you stupid gay treasure chest, fuck you.
As for the dungeon itself, usual dull affair. Nothing overly interesting or new, except a "Fairy" Bow (After one of my hardest battles in the game so far, 2 guys that to die and they both have to be dead at the same time, I died many times) and a very disorientating hall piece. It could have been interesting if it was used better. I didn't think that they used it in an interesting way, just basically a way into new rooms with a completely simple puzzle.
Interesting effect though.
So, when we get to the boss, the dungeon kinda changes to a more classy and modern feel. But what? Isn't this meant to be the Forest dungeon? No forest type boss?
Do I look like a forest type boss to you?!?
Yeah. This battle was rather hard, and I died several times before I could even get to the second part of the battle. Then it's just a button timing exercise. I think I died once on just the second part.
GRAAAAA You have killed my Phantom... My Forest type phantom!
Then you teleport to the very Dead Deku Tree, and it's baby attacks you and ruins the very pieced together plot. Only joking, it's just another dull long story scene that detracts from the game through it's overly slow and silly set pieces.
Holy cow I never saw that coming!
So thats it for the Forest temple/dungeon/whatever. Up next: Whatever Navi decides for me!
What, even more strange than the halo around it before? I thought that the new one suits it more...
Byeeee!
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