“And here is a weapon that can penetrate the Evil King's defenses...” – Stupid Zelda, not realising that just mentioning weapon anymore is considered an innuendo, plus I would call him more a tool than a weaponI never thought I would reach this part of the playthrough. I am going to explain all the side quests that I had to complete to get as far as I am now. This is not an exhaustive list of everything that I have done, mainly because I didn’t properly document these parts, or take more or less any screenshots at these parts either. But trust me, I didn’t like these parts any more than the rest of the game.
Din’s Fire
So I suppose we should start with one I can remember. Din’s Fire arrows. Remember the sign that didn’t make any sense to me at the start? The “Dead end” sign? Sorry, that was just a reminder for those who probably forgot it at this part.
Yeah. This one.
It always struck me that this was a bit weird. Do you also remember my accidental escapade as child AAAAAAAA up Death Mountain? The fairy at the top said that she either had a friend or sister living beside Hyrule Castle. So, I correctly guessed that this was the place.
But I didn’t care. I also guessed at that part that even going up Death Mountain was pointless. I still don’t understand why Navi told me to go up there!
Only while confused and angry with the whole Zora’s domain part did I even give any thought to this Dead End again. Being lost and confused at the Zoras domain was secretly was much harder than I let on. One of the things that I did while stuck there was go back to this Dead End, blow up the rock with bombs, and get Din’s Fire.
Now Din’s fire is actually an important item in the game. You need it to open up the Shadow Temple. It wasn’t hidden hard, I give it that. But it was a bit cheap that it was here. I was lucky, if I had hadn’t got stuck at the part I did then I wouldn’t have found this item. Ever.
Bottles!
At the point of the game I am at now, I have three bottles. I can’t remember where I got the second one (was it the crazy ghost guy in evil Castle Town?), and the third one I explain later, but the first one I remember like crystal. It was from that evil chicken lady.
Look at that smug evil look on her face. LOOK!
But nah. Just bombs. As you can see from the picture, I literally just got back from Death Mountain when I started bombing the town and its chicken population. Then I threw the stupid thing into the pen, and that lady gave me the bottle.
Sure, that's all cool and fine, but why was it so laborious? I got really confused when I was here the first few times. I just didn’t know what to do. But finding that last chicken in the box? That is actually the point at which I rage-quit. I really hate that town.
But the bottles are endlessly helpful. They can store… things. Blue fire and Phoenix Down fairies and such. Made life a little easier on some bosses, if I could bother to refill them.
Fire Arrows
Unfortunately I don’t have a long dull explanation of this part. Once again it was just one of those things that I was lucky to pay attention when I did.
For those who can’t remember, there is a plaque just above the water temple on that island thing. It mentions shooting something at the rising sun if I remember correctly. So you do that with your arrows, and then the fire arrow modifier sort of just drops out of nowhere. Once again, for something important to the game, it shouldn’t just be a wild stab in the dark.
Anyway I did this just after I finished the water temple, because when it teleports you out, that is where you arrive. Either that or it’s where the musical teleport takes you.
*Edit* – Just noticed that the fire arrows are actually not needed until Gannon’s Castle. My Bad.
Lens of Truth
This is one of those things that is like a nightmare. To get this stupid thing, once again you have to do a set series of tasks that are not obvious. AND it really breaks the space-time continuum.
So, again, it starts as Adult AAAAAAAA. You have to go to the windmill. The guy there says that some little git played the (awesome) song of storms, which drove the windmill berserk. So, despite that it is seven years later, apparently he can’t recognise someone wearing the exact same clothes, but just looks a bit older.
Actually that has applied to everyone so far.
He, just to really mess around with time paradoxes, then teaches you the song. I correctly guess that you need to go back to the past, to torment the guy with the song that he just taught you, so it can drive him crazy, and then in seven years he will teach the song to some guy who looks almost like the kid who drove him insane, just seven years older, who will then go back into the past…
If you look close, that’s immanent death on the horizon
Anyone who remembers this place probably still shudders. This area is the most untidy dungeon in the game. There are invisible monsters, fake walls, fake AND invisible floors etc. all over the place. It’s not dull, but by no means at all is it fun. Invisible stuff as a game play element? You must be joking.
When I talk to people about this game, they mention the Forest Temple, Fire Temple or Water Temple. In general at least. And even the other general places are mentioned.
No-one I have talked to even mentioned this place. It just sucked hard. And it had those creepy zombies here, monsters that were pretty difficult to beat, and to top it all off there was no map, no compass, and it didn’t even give you an objective to search for in the place. I assume that is why the map is still flashing for Kakarico Village but I still don’t know.
I spent about an hour and a half here, and found some stupidly hidden passageways, fought a mini-boss, and then got the lens of truth. At that point I assumed that this item was the whole point of the dungeon, even though now the invisible stuff was now visible, and vies-versa.
Now I’m told that you don’t need to get this item, but you really need to know your way around the rest of the game. Which I really didn’t know. So this item, despite the fact that I could have completely overlooked it, was actually very necessary. Once again, mentioning Alundra, you either received the main story items during the dungeons, or in a plot piece that you couldn’t accidently skip.
I’ve noticed that I mention Alundra a LOT. And a lot of my complaints about this game mirror things that were just better in that game. Play it. You know you want to. I know I do…
I can’t really remember what point I got the lens of truth. It might have been exactly before I needed it, the desert leading to the Spirit Temple, just when Navi decided that she didn’t want to help me anymore.
Lon Lon Ranch
Yeah. I did visit it. I did this after I finished the Spirit Temple, so that would actually be about now, where I am at the moment in the playthrough. And, I don’t know why I even came here in the first place.
Firstly, I went there as child AAAAAAAA, talked to the girl singing the song, learned the song, and caught the chicken that her dad threw. Well, I cheated a bit by moving all the chickens to the corner, then letting him throw it. And as a reward, I got a Bottle of Lon Lon milk.
Well, is it any wonder he went out of business in the future, if he sold his milk based on if the purchaser can find a specific chicken, and he doesn’t notice if they blatantly cheat.
And in the future? There was some guy there that I talked to, and that was it.
Plain and simple – I didn’t get Eponya, because I didn’t know what to do. I mean having a horse would have made life a lot easier, running across the map many many times takes a lot more time than you would think.
So, that's about it for all the side quests that I did in the game. Sure, I found around 3 more heart containers too, and two fairy fountains as well. I don’t believe that these stories would be very interesting. What, I blew a rock up and found a fountain with mad pixies in it? And then I could capture them and use them when I died? Riveting, I’m sure you agree.
Back To The Point
Yeah, lets continue with some of the story too (Also at this point I actually remembered to take more screenshots, so hopefully I can make this a bit more visual).
So, anyway, AAAAAAAA needs to visit the Temple of Time again. I don’t know why, maybe he lost his keys. There, he is assaulted by that weird guy who kept following me around everywhere.
And also the plot remembered to continue as well
Holy cow I didn’t see that coming! Also, I don’t care. Also, what does that have to do with anything?
Then, Sheik transforms into… It can’t be… That doesn’t make any sense! A princess couldn’t do any of that crap that… Apparently did! Like the jumping, and the acrobatics!
What the hell is she talking about? AAAAAAAA has been back for ages!
But their sweet meeting is cut short by Gannondorf! Oh noes!
No, that was just me… Baby…
Then Gannondorf mentions the most stupid like I have ever heard in video gaming ever. I don’t know how no-one has picked up on it, but it is just… Well, read on…
His only mistake… His only bloody mistake…
So. I’m going to reel in the shock from that crappy line from Gannondorf, and get ready for the final confrontation. It will be in two parts, and expect them relatively soon too!
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